My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
