Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
