sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
