I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
