If i come over, it means nothing
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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