meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
