Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
