You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
