Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
