i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
