I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
