'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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