Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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