At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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