u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
