how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
