So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this just has baby written all over it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
