Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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