i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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