so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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