2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just gift wrapped bread.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
