i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If that was your dad, he is hot
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
