I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
