I was born with a shot glass in my hand
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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