Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
