Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
