did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
