Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
