I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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