I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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