I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
