How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this just has baby written all over it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
