the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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