There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
