hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
