He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the day after is always just damage control
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
