I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
