I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
These tits shall not be calmed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
