this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
