scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do you remember whose house we're in?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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