Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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