what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
