My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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