cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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