You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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