this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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