it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just found puke in my bra..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
