i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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