his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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