My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i out mim tonsoeep
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
